Class and Professionalism

Effectively kicking off competition tomorrow with some friendlies, I wanted to make sure that our parent group and I are on the same page regarding an important issue.

I always struggle with this early-season email. I don’t want to tell parents how to act and how to parent. At the end of the day, the families on this team are this club’s clients. They are paying customers who all make sacrifices to have their girls on this team. This doesn’t go unnoticed by me.

As a business owner, I live by the adage that the customer is always right. I bend over backwards and make concessions to unhappy clients whenever I need to…that’s just the way I role.

The difference here is that though these parents are paying customers, they are paying me to coach. Paying me for my knowledge, my guidance, and my experience - and this is what always pushes me over the edge when I hesitate to send emails like this.

“Class

For those of you who have been here for multiple years, you’ve probably heard this ad nauseam.

But as we start our most competitive season to date, I need to make sure we are all on the same page about this.

I expect class from everyone. At all times. At training, at scrimmages, at games, at hotels, at anywhere.

I expect it from myself - in how I deal with the girls; in how I deal with you the parents; in how I deal with the officials; in how I deal with opposing team’s players and coaches; in how I act and carry myself during the times of adversity and challenge that we’re sure to face this season; in my tone and in my non-verbal communication on the sidelines; in everything.

I expect it from the girls - in how their bags look at training/games; in their appearance in training/games with their shirts tucked in; in how they deal with me, other team parents, opponents, opposing coaches, officials, opposing parents; in how they act and respond during times of adversity and challenge; in how they act in hotel lobbies and hallways; in everything.

And I expect it from you. Yes, I’d like all of us adults to be classy in everything we do, but once the Graves and Grates, out of the goodness of their hearts, get the Fireball and Bacardi flowing for the group at the hotel bars, our collective class sometimes takes a 20-second timeout...

I’m specifically talking about sideline behavior. We are sure to be under fire this season on the field. We are sure to be involved in some very tight, competitive games. We are sure to come up against very vocal and obnoxious opposing parent groups.

It can be tough to bite your tongue if the official apparently blows a call for us, or calls something against us giving our opponents a dangerous free kick opportunity.

It can be tough to ignore/tune out obnoxious, over-competitive opposing parents yelling out idiotic comments only a few feet from you, and even tougher not to verbally retaliate.

But your focus is on our team. On what we can control, and how we model class to our daughters.

Opposing parents getting on your nerves? Move your chair.

Officials getting you down? Go to your happy place.

Opponents score a great goal against us? See an outstanding individual effort from an opposing player? Watch a team shred us apart with beautiful passing? Clap and recognize good soccer when it beats us.

Honestly, no one is going to remember the score of a fall league U13 ECNL game in a couple years. And no one is going to care about that score at that point.

What we will always remember and care about as adults is how we acted in those moments that tested us, and all that our girls will remember is the support and classiness of their parents. ”